Sometimes things happen if you don’t plan for them. In dating, you might satisfy the seemingly perfect person when said person is in a not-so-perfect situation.
Often, this not-so-perfect scenario occurs for a recent breakup. And sometimes said breakup comes in a more extreme position — a divorce.
If you ask the question,”If I date a newly divorced girl?”
You will view a recently divorced lady as a red flag that is walking. And in certain respects, that can be a fair perception. Obtaining a divorce is essentially like going through your worst split times a million. There’s separation of land and, in the event the couple had kids, custody agreements and potential disputes to be worked out.
This isn’t to say that being divorced should also be a dealbreaker. In America, more than 90% of individuals get married before the age of 50 and 40 to 50 percent of these marriages end in divorce.
Statistics such as this reveal that divorce is whatever but taboo, and also chances so far a recently divorced woman are anything but uncommon.
But when someone has JUST gone from married to single status, there are lots of things to be careful of before dating.
If the thought of entering this sort of relationship is already causing your heartbeat to pound, then do not worry! I am here to help.
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Following are a few concerns and questions to ask yourself before deciding to date a newly divorced woman.
How Soon is Too Soon?
Whenever your girl waiting says she’s recently divorced, does she think divorce is synonymous with being split? FYI, a separation is a measure toward divorce — it is NOT a divorce.
Dating someone who’s separated means you’re dating someone who is technically still married. And dating a person who’s technically still married signifies that it is too soon.
Divorce is most frequently — a heart-wrenching scenario, even though it had been amicable and was a long time coming. If you’ve never gone through a divorce, then consider a time when you and also a long-term girlfriend chose to part ways.
Even if the decision was mutual and the separation was amicable, it is likely you experienced pain on the loss. This is a man whose entire life became interlaced by yourself. Therefore, the transition from venture to independence might be jarring.
Separation is a necessary precursor to divorce, and mourning the loss of a marriage — regardless of how right it is for both parties to end the said union — is a natural part of the process.
It can also be natural to want to rebound when your heart has been broken. Conversely, certain individuals who had felt the ending coming for weeks or years before an official decision was made to divorce may falsely believe they could dive back into the dating world before papers have been filed.
Should you date a woman who’s still technically married, you’re doing a disservice to yourself AND the soon-to-be ex-husband. Do not forget there is a great deal of logistics that go into finishing a divorce — paperwork, and separation of assets, etc..
For that reason, it’s better for everyone and more inclined to wait till things are officially done and resources are separated before dating.
An understandable — albeit, essential — query you may have when deciding to date a newly divorced woman is,”What happened?”
This is a question which should be asked. Consider the following when venturing to get an answer:
Is she being deliberately vague once the subject comes up? Or, would the response to a yes or no query lead to something entirely devoid of”yes,” or”no,” but rather, an onslaught of circle talking that leaves you with additional questions than answers.
Tell Tale Signs
Occasionally there are obvious informs that will instantly Allow You to know a newly divorced woman is lying, such as:
Eyes darting around
Too animated laughter
Incessantly avoiding the subject
Looking directly for her right
However, sometimes things are more subtle — to the point that you begin to question yourself and wonder if you’re overanalyzing.
There’s a sense of dread entangled in the pit of the stomach, but you think maybe you should just write it off as paranoia and push through. You do not need to be more judgmental or – even worse – allow a great thing slip off.
But when your stomach is currently putting off sirens to get a five-alarm fire, then it can be best to listen to your instincts.
Using the intuition in your subconscious can be a potent tool when your conscious mind doesn’t yet have all of the facts.
In other words, if everything about the situation is making you attention up the exit door, discreetly make your escape.
Has Her Divorce Process Been Ugly?
I don’t care how great the newly divorced woman looks — you do not want to get involved within her play whale.
Do your discussions appear to be mainly about how AWFUL her ex really is? Although the divorce has been finalized, is the ex still inside her lifetime for reasons either beyond her control? And does she totally HATE that she’s to continue to manage that toolbox?
If items are cluttered, you do not need to get involved. Certain circumstances force exes to stay in each other’s lives (either for the short- or longterm ), but you would like to date someone who has discovered common ground and a way to coexist with their ex.
Another Point to Bear in Mind Is That She Chose Him
If she’s talking smack about the man she committed to spending an whole life with, then how solid are her choice making skills?
Start looking for women who have reluctantly chose to divide, not girls who talk smack about their exes. Smack talkers show more about themselves than they do about others.
How Dangerous Is Her Ex Husband?
We’ve talked about steering clear of girls who have mixed up in some seriously bad juju or turn into drama-seeking when it has to do with divorce — but what should the instability falls solely about the ex?
Occasionally divorce comes as the result of the darkest of situations, and girls may flee for their own protection.
Stalker/psycho exes that aren’t over their ex aren’t just going to be wreaking havoc on your possible girlfriend day to evening — you’re at risk of being a prime target because of the ex’s outrage.
No girl is worth getting murdered. There is a whole lot of danger involved in dating a recently divorced woman. You could end up getting mixed up in their psychological whirlwind and when there’s a good deal of lousy juju, it can be safer to just let her move.
Don’t be a fanatic. There are specialist tools to help people in such situations.
Background Tends to Repeat Itself
Consider this before moving ahead with a choice to date a newly divorced woman.
We are creatures of habit. Even if it seems counterintuitive to repeat a custom, occasionally making the same wrong choice can feel a lot more comfy then making a change.
In the event the divorce happened due to infidelity on the lady’s role, you put yourself at chance of being cheated . This is not to state that all people that have cheated in the past are textbook cheaters, but a routine is just something to be careful of.
If she got jealous and possessive to the point her now ex felt suffocated, you run the danger of being suffocated.
Collect the perfect information and also keep your wits about you.
Who Can She Stand TODAY with Her Ex?
Was the divorce amicable? If so, proceed; if not, consider this a bad signal.
Divorce isn’t always synonymous with play. A marriage which didn’t survive is not always a failure. Folks grow and change. Occasionally relationships — even marriages — might be fulfilling and valuable for a limited period of time.
When circumstances direct both individuals to decide that the relationship isn’t serving them at a healthful way any longer, it’s completely feasible to move on amicably. These life lessons learned will favorably fuel their next relationship.
Who Initiated the Divorce?
When it comes to dating a newly divorced woman, knowing who pioneered the divorce can be essential to understanding whether or not you ought to proceed with the connection.
In case the man initiated the divorce, the odds are a bit greater that you might be the rebound guy. And rebounding can be quite a common coping mechanism for lots of folks.
Now, given that actually finalizing a divorce takes a lot of time, it’s surely likely that the woman you meet is above the divorce even if she wasn’t the only one to pull on the trigger.
Need More Help?
The decision to date a newly divorced woman is merely one of many anomalies you will face in the relationship world.
Should you need personal support for your particular situation, don’t be afraid to reserve a new customer Skype session with me now.
Throughout our time together we will breakdown your particular situation, create an action program, and see if my 3 month training program might help you reach your relationship and relationship objectives.